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New Haven Register - 06/22/2006
Group mulls youth violence
Kent Garber , Special to the Register
NEW HAVEN - The regular agenda for the monthly
meeting of Grandparents on the Move and the Grandparents Respite
Activity Support Program took a back seat to a spirited discussion
on ways to stop youth violence in the city.
In the wake of a shocking shooting that claimed
the life of a 13-year-old girl on Dickerman Street in Dixwell,
the grandmothers met with Mayor John DeStefano Jr. on Wednesday
and shared ideas on solving the problem.
Destefano, the group's invited guest and a Democratic
gubernatorial candidate, acknowledged the concerns, saying
that the city is working on several fronts to address them.
Tougher gun control efforts, better communication
between schools and city agencies, and expanded summer programs
were chief on his list.
Some grandparents asked him about whether he
would consider imposing a youth curfew. Destefano said that
would not happen.
"If a parent can't do it, don't expect the
police to do it," said Destefano during the meeting at Beulah
Heights First Pentecostal Church.
The grandmothers meeting at Beulah Wednesday
are second-term parents, raising their children's children
for one reason or another. In some cases, the birth parents
are unable to parent: Locked up in jail, guilty of neglect,
caught up in drugs. In other cases, the psychological toll
is too much, and the parents willingly, regretfully, pass
their children off.
In New Haven alone, more than 1,500 grandparents
raise their grandchildren.
Their backgrounds vary, as do their ages. But
if the forum at Beulah Heights was any indication, they agree
strongly on a central point: keeping a child safe is a full-time
job, and parents, especially grandparents, need more help
from the city.
"For most grandparents, the kids come to visit
on the weekend, and then they go home," said Barbara Greene,
a receptionist at the Hospital of St. Raphael during the meeting.
"But that's not true for us. We have to learn what the PTO
means, who's on the school board, all these things, but we
just don't have the time."
Or, in some cases, the money. According to Jacqueline
Harris, a grandmother who is raising her 13-year old grandson,
grandparents don't qualify as foster parents under state guidelines.
That slight, she said, makes her job as a guardian difficult.
"If we're going to change things to protect
our kids, it has to start at home," said Harris, who is also
the co-chairwoman of the Ward 23 Democratic Town Committee.
"But I'm a grandparent, not a foster parent, so I don't fall
in the right guidelines for economic support. And if I don't
have the resources, how much can I do?"
Harris' personal story exemplifies that point.
Eight years ago, she gained legal control of her grandson,
who is now 13. He wears a 13½ size shoe, is 6 feet tall, and
has a 38-inch waist. He is also borderline diabetic and suffers
from asthma.
Harris said that her daughter gave up the child
for economic and emotional reasons. "She just couldn't deal
with him," Harris said. "She was struggling with a broken
marriage. . . . She needed help."
But Harris, in addition to her role as mother,
has her own set of worries. She's on disability support, which
means she receives a check for $625 each month. As a foster
parent, she would receive significantly more. But that's not
how the state views her.
"What can I do with $625?" she asked.
İNew Haven Register 2006
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